Do you pray?

 Do you pray?

Not in a religious context but do you

Ask the universe for things

For virtues

For relief from suffering

And believe that some power

Some spirit

Some intelligence or consciousness

Greater than human understanding

Hears you?

I've prayed

And I believe those prayers

Were answered because

When I see you

I freeze

My soul scrambles

To find a sign

some indication

That your soul can hear mine

So I prayed

For a smile

That reached your eyes

For our hands to touch

Sending shivers up my spine

For some small connection

Like when you say

"I hope you have a nice day"

And it's genuine

Now when I pray

I'm afraid to ask for more

Because if my prayers aren't answered

it might feel awkward

When I go to the grocery store 

The victim hood

You're such a wonderful victim

You've really perfected your martyrdom

Like a pick pocket

You proclaim yourself generous and kind

And with a slight of hand

Take everything you can reach

And as the last bit of value

Is lifted from the pocket

Accuse your mark

Of taking advantage of you

It's quite exquisite

This lie you've convinced yourself of

Crafted to shield you from

Your own truth

In order to control disappointment

You contrive it

You create your own inner chaos

And spew it onto anyone

Naive enough to believe

Your kindness isn't conditional

And your love isn't a paper house

As empty Inside

As you

While you set it ablaze

With those you lured

still inside

You shout to the neighborhood

"Look! I was so generous and kind

And they tried to burn me alive!"

Self evident

Before me sits the evidence
So clear I can't deny
That every time you said
'I love you'
You told another lie

You never saw me truly
As the man I am
You loved the idea that
You could fix me
And mold me to be
Your man

As you cut me down to size
And broke me into bits
You always grew so angry
When the pieces would not fit

So I've gathered all the pieces
The ones you threw away
And put them back together
Into this man who's here to stay

His spirit won't be defeated
Nor broken by the lies
All the evidence that's needed
Sits inside his eyes