I feel this

I am tired of writing poems about people who hurt me. I’m tired of writing poems about being traumatised and angry. I’m tired of the way everything feels like a cage these days and I wish exhaustion with loneliness wasn’t the reason why some people fall in love, but we are all tired of not being held, afraid of being alone, we all want someone to look at us like we are the sun, we all wish that when someone kisses us they do not see our tired souls but the moon in our eyes. I’m trying to do better. I’m trying to want myself in a way where I feel I do not need the love of others. Most days, I fail at this. Most days I lie there holding onto love’s tender hands and pretend it is healing to do that. I try to see myself the way I wish someone else would. Like I am beautiful. Like I am enough.

Nikita Gill