Groceries

 So around the time the pandemic started causing some waves in our very insulated lives, I decided to go grocery shopping. Under normal circumstances cassie would do most of the shopping, but these weren't normal circumstances. This is when all the toilet paper was sold out, and there was a real fear that the food would be next. At the time cassie was working full time and I was struggling to find work, it seemed prudent to stock up when the food stamps hit. Since I wasn't working there was some hope that I would ease some of her stress by taking on that responsibility. My goal was to stock up enough dry goods and shelf stable foodstuffs to make it through a month or two, so I was trying to stretch every dollar and get the most I could for the cheapest price possible. I got lots of spaghetti and sauce, canned vegetables and meats, trying to only get stuff that was on sale, as well as our usual staples. I ended up spending about 400$ of the 600$ on the card. I got home and put away all the groceries and surveyed the haul and felt secure that we could make it through at least two months without starving. Then cassie came home, and started going through every cabinet and critiqued every single purchase. Saying things like "we're just gonna survive on pasta forever" and "I can't believe you bought green beans". It was so shocking that at first I didn't know how to respond, I just let her pull all the food i had just bought out of the cabinets and throw it in a pile on the floor. Then she wanted me to return it all and I started getting defensive, it turned into a full blown shouting match, which I lost. The words still ring in my head 

"how could you be so stupid"
"What were your thinking"
"Why do I have to do everything"
"You're going to take it all back"

It was devastating. I was devastated. It was hard for me to comprehend why she was so upset, and once the personal attacks started, I stopped trying to comprehend and put all my energy into just defending myself. It's still confusing to me. In the end we didn't return the food. But the result was that I was never "allowed" to go grocery shopping again.