How did this happen

It's five minutes to eleven and
Just the thought of holding you
Right now is overwhelming
The reality of holding you
Takes my sensibilities and inhibitions
Out to the metaphorical wood shed
As much energy as I've spent
Reducing and resisting these feelings
Pushing back against unbidden emotions
That effort has turned into the exponent
They are compounded by
There aren't enough locks to guard them
No vault deep or secure enough
To contain the torrent
For every word I said there were a thousand I blocked
Every look I gave I never allowed the thought
That this could even really happen